By Pam Sheppard
I have known a lot of men in my day, both professionally and personally. There were many narcissists among them, even among the weak and most passive ones. I met my first husband in 1967. My best friend, Garry treated me like a queen for 3 years. Its a long story but I will simply say “he died young.”
Looking back, I was stuck on stupid from 1974-2005 about this soul mate thing and I tried to nurture a lot of NARCS back to sound mental health. That only works in a counselor to client relationship. I have learned from hard knocks that to avoid co-dependency, “do not try to counsel YOUR man.” He will only end up hating you.
so Count girls. I looked for Prince Charming for a total of 31 years. Some of you are not even 31 years old yet.
So take it from an old gal who travelled the romantic yellow brick road for a long time. Actually, I realized on the day that I had my final divorce papers in my hand from my third marriage, that the search was over. I had an “ah ha” moment of ” Oh well, I guess there was no soul mate, no Prince Charming for me after all!!!!.” !
In 2005, I was a ripe young age of 62, about to receive my social security!
Why did I allow the prophecy of a psychic astrologer and the religiosity of the church to wrongly use scripture and cause me to sit around waiting like a fool for 31 years for a man who never made an appearance? ?” Well, the deed is done and I don’t cry over spilt milk!!
But that’s nothin when I share the stories of my mother and my favorite aunt. My mother lived to be 92. At the age of 87, she had me searching the web for HER prince charming, a man by the name of Charles Collins, the lost love that got away and married somebody else!. I searched diligently with no results . He is either dead or in a nursing home. That is not all, My mother’s sister was married for more than 50 years, yet while a widow, she hit 80 and met a fabulous, good-looking man about her own age and it looked like life begins at 80. Unfortunately, he died of a massive heart attack on Thanksgiving and she was so grieved, she succumbed to cancer and died a month later.
Now when I was a young, unsaved woman in my early 20’s , I was quite cynical. Tough, you might say. I was the one who “refused to commit,” not the men. I saw too much infidelity around me to even desire to be married. I protected my heart and I was successful. Then in 1974, I was set up on the Prince Charming thing by a psychic astrologer whose name was Norvell. Norvell sold me a bill of goods and I bought into it, hook line and sinker for the next 31 years. Now that, Dear Heart, is being STUCK ON STUPID BY a demon who used Norvell to send me that lying prophecy. Norvell even described the man in some detail. He told me that we would be “working together” in a grand career.
While a state government ambitious striver, I looked for Prince Charming among the lawyers and the professional men. Once I entered into ministry in 1981, well there were scores of ministers to consider, many who set their eyes upon me. However, a fallen angel took the baton from Norvell and revealed to me in a dream that since I was entering into addiction therapy, recovery and prison ministry, my soul mate was a felon in recovery, who had become a born again Christian. So I married not one felon, but TWO.
While holding on to my last husband and trying to have a child in my late 50’s, the Lord spoke audibly and said, both of your husbands were sent to you by the devil to destroy you.” I gave those 2 dudes a total of 17 years of my life!
So as I stood there in 2004 with the divorce papers in my hand, I got “un-stuck” from being stupid, quite happy that I did not have a child at the age of 58!!!.
Here is a tidbit of info that could help you from “gettin stuck.”
Once I let the “Prince Charming” Fantasy die, I lost all stress and just relaxed. I look better now than I did 25 years ago. This is me in the summer of 2018, at the age of 74. I am now 75.
Just because you are attractive and you have sexual desire, and you believe that anything you ask God for He will provide simply because YOU want it, remember me. The bible says that it is not good for a man to be alone and that he should have a wife. The bible does not say the same for a woman.
You, Sistah and Sister can be alone. When I was young and dumb, I could not even think of being without a man. It was too heavy a thought for me back then. But now that I have 40 years to look back over, I was always alone anyway, with the Lord I have survived, became wise, and I am filled with peace and joy WITHOUT a man!!! LOL. I do my own thing, Gurl!!! lol. Cook and clean when I feel like it. In fact, I have a housekeeper who cleans for ME!
I don’t unpack no man’s baggage today. I have not done so since 2004. Now I don’t knock YOU if you have a good man, My Sister. I say, right on to you! I am not speaking to you. I am speaking to the one who has been putting her life on hold in God, waiting for Mr. Right.
Honey, the devil plans to send you “Mr. Wrong!”
If you have something to do for the Lord, don’t let the devil suggest to you that you can’t serve Jesus Christ of Nazareth without a partner. It is a lie from hell. Another thing, if you are sitting around continually praying and waiting on God to SEND you a man, it is quite possible that the devil will answer your prayer and send you a religious narcissist. If you want a man, know yourself, decide what you want, and hold interviews!!! Do not settle for less than what is compatible and needful for YOU!!!
We mentor, coach, counsel and train women who have a call on their lives to be ministers. Please notice that we do not COVER anyone according to that false, authoritative practice. We will work with you but Jesus Christ is your covering. We are a team you can affiliate with if you choose, but that is not required. THE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR MINISTRY REMAINS WITH YOU!!!
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Spiritual Warfare Library of PSM 
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