Living With Addiction

20 May

Living with addiction is an extremely draining, and even a hostile environment. It seems as all the help and good you want to offer is rejected, and ignored—sucked into a black hole. Recently, I have received revelation with what to do if you live in a home with someone who abuses themselves with alcohol and drugs.

Step One

The first thing you must do if the person does not have an aggressive behavior is too indirectly confront them in the spirit of gentleness. Since, a lot of addicts take offense easily. It’s best during confronting to make it about yourself. For example, “I cannot do this anymore, it’s hurting me.” People who are in addiction often do not have self-awareness of how they harm others and themselves.

If you live with an aggressive person, confrontation is not the best and can be dangerous. Depending on the circumstance you may have to leave the environment, and go through the hassle of moving out.

Remember, always try to confront the person when they are sober. And make sure the timing is right. Do not confront them if they are too emotional, angry, and upset. Confrontation is always going to be uncomfortable, but if the person sees your perspective then they might get help. If they deny the confrontation and continue their addiction here is the next step.

Step Two

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries!!!!

Maybe people who have been living with addiction are often blinded by the toxicity of the person’s problems. Blinded because of affections, emotions, and thus turn a “blind eye” to the person. And, in order to preserve themselves and their relationship with the addicted person they will become “servants” of the addiction.

Psychology calls it “co-dependency” but the best way to describe it is “toxic help.” The one living with addiction helps in every way, does things, takes care of them, but the one thing this person avoids is the abuse itself. It’s almost like how doctors often take care of the symptoms by prescribing medication but not taking care of the cause of the symptoms. In this analogy, the toxic help, will go on forever, never actually achieving any results.

Overtime, the person helping will begin to think they are responsible for “saving” the person. That they are the only ones who can help them. The error of this thinking leads to a devastating life of sadness, despair, frustration, and pain.

Step Two Contiuned

So, back to boundaries. A person struggling with “toxic help” has had the abusive person’s addictions walk all over them. What needs to be done is an assertive measure to refuse the addiction’s power from crossing over the boundary.

Sometimes this may be leaving the environment, or ending the relationship or “putting it on hold”. Temporary distance, maybe be required. Less interaction, less attention, are all ways to set up boundaries. Since, ultimately the goal of the abusive person is for you to go along with their addiction in all its excuses and rationalizations.

Boundaries can be difficult to set up if you have been so drawn over with the person’s burdens. You may need time alone to assess what needs to be done, and what boundaries can no longer be crossed. For example, no longer drinking in the presence of an alcoholic is a boundary.


People who abuse alcohol and drugs are extremely unpredictable. Anytime you interact with them, you must come in a “spirit of gentleness” or “innocent as a dove.” Yet, at the same time you must be an undercover “wise serpent” judging, and handling the situation with wisdom.

Never approach an addict with hostility, frustration or anger. It will only make things worse.

You have to know the addict, and yourself. Honestly, sometimes it’s just easiest to leave the environment, and stay somewhere else.

Step Three: Don’t Grow Weary

Living with addiction is a subtle gloomy, dark, and chaotic world. Everything good, full of life is sucked and pulled into the addiction. The Devil loves using people with addiction to create all hell, sadness, and havoc in the homes of loved ones; to steal your joy, and healthy attitude, and good outlook on life. Don’t fall in the trap of pessimism! Keep being optimistic….

Here at Pam Sheppard Ministries we can give you all the support, and comfort you need. In these times of quarantine it may be even more draining and tiresome living with addicted, abusive people. We are 11th hour workers, here online and you can reach out to us. Call now at 888-818-1117 or email

You are not responsible for bearing another person’s addiction. You are responsible though for not allowing their addiction to ruin YOUR LIFE! Be mentally strong, and fight the fight of your soul.

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