We see how the riches and the world choke the word in the parables mentioned by the Lord. The similar effect is manifest with narcissists trying to bear Christian fruit. Only narcissism works as a crop parasite, that is hard to see at first inside the crop, but overtime the crops are half destroyed by the infection. Narcissism—the fruit parasite.
Jesus Himself gave us attitudes and characteristics of those who belong to Him. And these attitudes and characteristics are traits of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, our Lord.
What you will see is that these godly traits are so contrary to narcissism, it explains why narcissists can’t bear fruit unless they repent.
First of all, to bear spiritual fruit you must be born again. The carnal soul, although having good in it, can’t bear the fruit that remains which Jesus talked about with His disciples, “You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain.”
Having humility as a Christian, should be a lasting consistent characteristic. The example of humility was Jesus Himself:
“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.”
We see humble people with a “low mind.” They aren’t really thinking ABOUT themselves. Whether they think good things or bad things, their mind is not dwelling on themselves but on God and on others. And, they are “esteeming” others more than they esteem themselves.
HUMBLE people do nothing out of conceit. Even good things. They don’t care for attention, and they are NOT seeking validation from anyone. Many times narcissists will DO GOOD THINGS as a show to validate themselves and to others that they are not as evil as they really are.
And let me reconnect the point I made earlier about fruit that remains, if you are born again, and one day you seem humble, then the next day you are offended by criticism, and then humble again, and then you bash other people and bring others down, and then humble, and then you cross so many boundaries…
YES, the flesh and Spirit are contrary and war against one another. YES, we still have our flesh after getting born again. But, if time goes by, and there is no progress, there is not consist fruit, then something is wrong, as Paul said:
“But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His.”
Now, something that narcissists have is called “magical thinking.” Magically thinking is a dramatic, fairy tale, beautiful exaggerated mindset. Narcissists deceive themselves with this mindset because they think they have beautiful godly fruit when they really don’t.
But, life in the Spirit, even as babes, there is still fruit that eventually naturally comes to the light.
We talked about humility, but another fruit of the Spirit is love.
Christian love is not always an emotional experience. It’s not this grand visionary idea, as Paul taught to the Corinthians. It’s a simple living reality.
The center “fruit of fruits” is love for another, because of the love that Christ has for all those who are His. This love is quiet, natural, sometimes it seems hidden and then suddenly you feel it come to the surface.
This love is also intelligent and understanding. It knows the boundaries of other people. And does not offend. This love is not subject to “great works of love” as Paul said: “And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.” But, this love is long suffering, and does not envy.
Really, the character behind love is care and compassion. The Spirit of Christ molds you into a caring and compassionate person. Not for the world, but for GOD’S PEOPLE! The question is not if you can love and care for the lowlifes of the world: it is DO YOU ACTUALLY CARE FOR GOD’S PEOPLE? This is NOT just in promises and words, this is in DEED and TRUTH.
Remember that word envy? Well, the 10th commandment says THOU SHALL NOT COVET ANYTHING OF THY NEIGHBOR!!
Narcissist are deeply envious and covet what other people have, whether materially, or just an aspect of a person. And because of this, they will say and do negative things to bring others down to lift up their ego from its threatened state.
Christians are not envious because we have learned the secret of contentment in which Paul reveals,
“Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
To me, “abase and abound” doesn’t just include material things. To me it can also mean flaws in appearance and character, weaknesses…in other words Christians should be very secure, confident people who embrace all their flaws because God has embraced them with all their flaws, and He is the One who can fix all flaws!
You should now see, in the examples of Christian fruit how the flaws of narcissism will destroy that fruit.
We saw with humility narcissists destroy that with their constant thinking of themselves.
We saw with love narcissists destroy that with their lack of compassion and care, envy, and ambition.
But there are more that need to be addressed:
Narcissists are exploiters. Or “predator like.” When they see someone who will bend to their desires, who can easily be manipulated, who are not so strong willed, they exploit. Exploitation simply means TAKE ADVANTAGE OF!
Whereas Christians NEVER would take advantage of someone’s vulnerability BUT PROTECT IT!!!!
Another thing they do is they have no sense of boundaries. They don’t realize people are independent, and have their own life. They think their life is the only life that exists. Their plans, their agenda, their schedule, their lifestyle is the only one. So, narcissists will cross over lines all the time because of this fact. They just don’t realize you have a life since they are too absorbed in their own. They see people as extensions of themselves and not individuals.
Christians ARE EXTREMELY AWARE that other people HAVE LIVES. We are not clingy and NEEDY people. We don’t cross boundaries because we don’t interrupt and interfere with other people’s affairs and plans. We ALLOW people to be individuals!!
And lastly shame. Narcissists hate the feeling of shame. They hate being put on the spot, being wrong, being seen as wrong. They will protect their shame at all costs, even if it means shaming others.
CHRISTIANS HAVE ZERO SHAME BECAUSE THE BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH HAS WASHED AWAY ALL OUR SHAME!!! BY THE GRACE OF HIS STRIPES WE ARE HEALED!!!!
The narcissist needs to repent if they have any hope of bearing the fruits of the Spirit. If they have any chance of having and receiving a crown.
“Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.”
The narcissist need to get out of the magical thinking and see the evil that they are— and become poor in spirit and MOURN. Mourn not because they feel ashamed, but because they have genuinely hurt people. Mourn because they have caused pain and suffering in the lives of other people.
Jesus Christ of Nazareth is fully able to change a narcissist and the traits of narcissism because of what He did at the cross and His resurrection. Nothing is too difficult for Him.
The amount of truth the narcissist accepts about themselves, is the amount of freedom they will receive. If they continue to have a “magical” view of themself, then repentance will do no justice and they will remain a narcissist…
It will now be six and a half years ago, before I came to find Pam Sheppard Ministries. At that time, I was hearing voices 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. It all started gradually when they would say one word every 5 to 10 minutes. They would say things like “leave”. Later on, it gradually turned into constant, long running words telling me to do things and talking about Jesus.
The voices grew stronger after I visited a psychic, who claimed that she could help me. The voices started telling me to leave my job and not to go back into that building. One day, I obeyed those evil spirits and I left my job. That was a big mistake. As soon as I obeyed them, I gave them authority and control over me, and with that, those evil spirits continued a 24/7 harassment, while not giving me any breaks or pauses.
Then I discovered an article online written by Pastor Pam Sheppard. I called her and when we spoke about my situation, she had knowledge about this subject and understood what was happening to me. One of the ways her knowledge was evident was when she made it clear that me obeying those spirits was the absolute wrong thing to do. She discerned fear coming from me and she also knew that I was not really born again, even though I thought I was.
Eventually, Pastor Pam started counseling me and I watched many of her videos, read her articles, and read her books. One of the many great things that counseling with Pastor Pam did was help me take back my free will. Like she says in the video below, we worked and worked and worked until I took back my God given free will!!! I am holding it dear to me.
After being in counseling and mentoring with Pastor Pam for over 5 years I have progressed tremendously. The voices dramatically decreased to the point where I would go days without hearing from them. To me that is a true miracle. I have found multiple jobs and have been able to work in different areas that I felt was a better fit for me, compared to before where I was living in fear about being unemployed and unsure of when I would ever receive another pay check again.
Years ago as a teenager I “accepted Jesus”, when prompted by the preacher to walk down the aisle and do such a thing. Yet looking back I realized I “accepted Jesus” out of pressure and fear to do what was expected of me. I followed a projected promise that suggested I would be saved just by accepting him.
Yet when those evil spirits came to harass me my prayers, church attendance, and reading the Bible only made the voices come stronger and led to an increasing mention about what “Jesus” thinks I should do.
During the time of hearing voices constantly, they would often speak about Jesus. Something did not seem right. Everything they wanted me to do was not fruitful and did not help me in my life whatsoever. Instead, anything I listened to them about put me in danger.
After being in counseling with Pastor Pam she taught me that I had a false conversion. Once I found out about the false conversion I had, I realized that I was right to be suspicious of the worship and religious practices I was getting myself involved in. I finally started to realize that I was worshipping the fake Jesus and praying to him. When I found that out, I immediately stopped worshipping the fake Jesus and removed myself out of religious behaviors that were deeply rooted in my life.
One of the ways I advanced against those evil spirits harassing me was when I renounced the false conversion I had. Not too long after that I no longer heard voices in my head saying “Jesus thinks this”, “Jesus thinks that”. Still, I wanted those evil spirits to leave me alone and not talk to me about anything at all because they were still commenting about everything I was doing. Thankfully, eventually I went from hearing voices constantly and consistently to then having significant and dramatic reduction as I continued being counseled and mentored by Pastor Pam. I was feeling relieved and grateful for this.
From darkness to light by the grace of true salvation
As far as true salvation, I learned from Pastor Pam about waiting on God’s call to cause my salvation. Besides, there was plenty of work I needed to do on my soul due to all the years since childhood of damage, pain, insecurity, and worries lodged deep inside me.
Once a week for 5 years, I had counseling sessions with Pastor Pam. I adored and enjoyed her company whether on the phone or in person. I attribute much of my improvements to her patience, wisdom, motivation, and support. I developed a closeness to her that meant a lot to me.
As I peeled off my passive nature that I have had for years, I discovered the real me was a risk taker at times and not a follower. Raised in California, I decided to make a change and move over to the East Coast, to New York Upstate and live near Pastor Pam. It didn’t matter what anyone thought about that decision or what was thought of as popular. All that mattered was that I did what was best for me.
Yet, throughout those five years, Pastor Pam noticed that though I had made so much progress, and was a big part of her Ministerial team, dutifully helping, and seeking to continue to help, presenting at her Bible studies and so on, but why was I not born again yet? In fact, there would be moments at a Bible study session where I would start sobbing as scripture was read, but it did not transition into a salvation experience. This happened multiple times.
Nevertheless, Pastor Pam continued with her mentorship and counseling with me. I remained a loyal member in her Ministry, helping her as she gave me assignments that she believed I was capable of doing.
Then Pastor Pam had her annual workshop from Friday July 19th to Sunday July 21st. I was a part of the Pam Sheppard Ministries (PSM) committee that would prepare for the workshop and reserve the location of where the workshop would be held. It turns out that the location that Pam Sheppard Ministries was supposed to have the workshop in, was only going to be available on Friday July 19th and we had to make arrangements to find another location for Saturday and Sunday.
Thankfully we found another good location, and were able to reserve a nice space to accommodate the workshop. The new location happened to be the same complex that Pastor Pam got born again. Many years ago she used that same room to hold church services in the big room where our PSM workshop would be held.
The first day of the workshop went well. We were introduced to a young innovative newcomer, Evan, who just a few months before, became born again after reading one of Pastor Pam’s books and watching a series of her videos. We enjoyed Chinese food and gathered around as we shared the different ideas we had for the Ministry.
The next day on Saturday, Pastor Pam preached a powerful sermon as she included the emphasis and amplification about the resurrection of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. In addition to the many important topics we discussed, Pastor Pam went around the room asking who felt they needed deliverance. Those who needed prayer and assistance with deliverance were helped that day by Pastor Pam. She spoke to me as well about my need for deliverance. I knew I was still battling with evil spirits who were trying to discourage and distract me.
Later that day the attendees enjoyed a hearty meal at a popular restaurant. I had no idea what was to come the next day.
Yet something was bothering me that Saturday night when I came home to my apartment after that dinner. It was the devil that was bothering me. That evening, an evil spirit spoke through me and laughed mockingly. That night, evil spirits were present with back and forth talk, with the intent to frustrate, place fear, and unrest in me. I called Pastor Pam that night and told her what was going on. She prayed for me. I was glad that she prayed for me and then I went to bed. Yet I had a semi restless night, unable to find peace nor sustained rest while in my own bed. Finally I got some rest and woke up the next morning to get ready for the last day of the workshop with Pam Sheppard Ministries.
On the morning of the last day of PSM’s workshop, while in my apartment, there was a pressure that I felt on my body as I was getting ready for the workshop. Again, those evil spirits were more noticeable than usual, whispering strange words to me, as I was preparing to leave my apartment. When I closed that apartment door to head to my car, that pressure that I felt suddenly began to go away and there was no longer harassment from those evil spirits.
I picked up some fellow members and drove them to our reserved workshop location. We all settled in our same seats from the day before. Evan read scripture from the Bible describing God’s people.
After this scripture was read, Pastor Pam brought this question up to everyone in the workshop: “are you God’s people?” If so, why?” We all went around in a circle to answer this question. When it came to be my turn, I answered: “yes I am God’s people”, and then surprisingly I began to cry. At that time as I was speaking, I had enough. I had enough of the devils antics. I was tired of the enemy finding different ways to bother me. All of the worries in my mind, troubles and fears, at that moment, suddenly I knew that it didn’t matter. I said: “I’m tired of the devils attampts to prevent me from doing what God wants me to do!!! These distractions are not what’s important!” I yelled out: “it’s about Jesus. It’s about Christ!!” As I was talking, Pastor Pam said: “are you born again?” I said to her, I’m just talking. And the attendees laughed. I was letting out my feelings and expressing what I was going through.
At that moment I knew that my wordly worries needed to be pushed aside.
Pastor Pamela Sheppard heard me mention Jesus and she was like a seasoned midwife in addition to a warrior. She got up out of her chair, saw that I was sobbing and talking about Jesus. Which is a noteworthy observation because ever since I renounced my false conversion, I rarely mentioned Jesus’s name for about 5 years. Instead, our counseling sessions often focused on the strongholds that the world had over me.
Back to that moment on July 19th, 2020. Pastor Pam suddenly yelled out “repent!” I replied with: “I can’t.” Pamela Sheppard said is that the devil? And she boldly told the devil to leave. Next, I sobbed, crying, with sorrow, shouting that I sinned over and over again. She then asked me who is your Lord? I had no idea what I was going to say. All of a sudden I blurted “Jesus!!!!!!!!!” “It’s Jesus!!!!!” “It’s Jesus!!!!!!” I heard my own voice, louder than it has ever been in my life talking about Jesus. My voice was roaring loud, filling the entire room. Oh my goodness and after that I was convicted. I was like a screaming, crying baby that was just being born. Faith had just been given to me about Jesus and I had no idea it was going to be given to me at that moment. The Holy Spirit convicted me in such an unforgettable way.
Me, a person who focused so much on what the world thinks was being humbled and broken down by God. How I appeared didn’t matter. All that mattered was what the Holy Spirit was drawing me to and that was the focus of Jesus. I kept saying the name Jesus. As I continued to say his name, I started to realize, Oh my, he actually did come back alive. Truly alive, not in Spirit but physically. It was something that deep down I always thought was impossible and now I believed it.
What was happening was me having a shocking discovery and revelation of this unforgettable miracle of the resurrection of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. What the gospel said was true. It was actually true. I screeched in absolute shock and amazement, with my mouth wide open, walking to one corner of the room, sliding down to the floor, as if no one was in that room. I covered my mouth with amazement. Then I yelled out with a combination of tears, awe, and astonishment, saying out loud over and over, “Oh My God, Jesus is actually alive.”
Then suddenly confidence came to me. A confidence I had never ever felt in my entire life. I felt strong and as if I was a new person. A new person who was no longer bound and restrained. I next walked around the room, celebrating the resurrection of the Lord. All the attendees clapped and cheered for me as this was all happening.
July 21st, 2019 at 12 pm was when my day arrived and I got born again.
God gave me a true salvation experience which was truly supernatural and absolutely not of my own doing. I had no idea I would become born again the day that I did. I was not expecting it. I was GIVEN faith by the grace of God to believe in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ of Nazareth.
Now today I know that I am a new creation in Christ. His grace of everything he has done and the power that is Him with the faith given to me that He defeated death has been a resounding and continuing impact on me.
The next morning while I was in my own apartment, I walked past my bathroom mirror, took a quick glance and felt that there was something different about how I looked. I first shrugged it off and said, hmmpf maybe it’s nothing. But yet I couldn’t shake off that change I saw. I slowly went to the mirror and looked at my face. I couldn’t believe it but I was right, my face looked different. Relaxed. Happy and no longer tense or rigid. Now there was a look of happiness and excitement. When I smiled, it came naturally and felt so good to smile.
The next day that Pastor Pam saw me she said that I used to have a perpetual look of worry on my forehead and it was now gone. I was shocked that she noticed it too, as I thought that no one else would notice what I saw in the mirror that morning. I would come to find out that other members of the Ministry noticed this change as well.
As for those voices, even before I got born again, they significantly reduced. I have not heard from them 24/7 as I kept continuing my deliverance counseling sessions with Pastor Pam once a week without ever missing a day for 5 years. Since my rebirth less than 2 months ago, I observed even more change and improvement in that aspect. My salvation experience is so unforgettable, that it is my weapon and shield against them. The peace that I have is wonderfully more consistent than before I got born again and the voices from evil spirits continue to dramatically decrease more and more than before. Each week, I notice even more improvement against them, in that their presence has and continues to diminish and be rare.
And now, in 2021, I continue to be strengthened by the Holy Spirit that stays in me. My soul continues to strengthen, as God and the Holy Spirit use the lessons of life to heal me, and provide me with continued growth and empowerment.
Today in 2021 I am maturing in Christ! The peace that I felt the moment I got born again: remains. No matter what I go through, the fruits of the Spirit are my backing, my encouragement. The devil has tried in ulterior ways to distract me, deter me, and discourage me, yet his attempts are just that: attempts. The weapons of Christ’s salvation and overwhelming characteristics of truth always pull me out of whatever attacks the devil has tried.
Since being born again, I have noticed some changes that I didn’t pick up before. I used to get these dreams that would lead me to feel noticeably numb in my body and they seemed so real, and left me with fear during the dream and would linger after waking up. Yet now, I no longer have those dreams.
My desire to alert the elect of God continues. I think about those who are waiting for their time, but just need to be pulled out of the darkness they are in.
Though 2020 has been a challenging year for all, by the grace of God he has repeatedly provided me with wonderful employment opportunities, protection, happiness, and new beginnings. I appreciate the quietness in my mind, which is a lesson for me. You see, many years ago, way before I found Pam Sheppard Ministries, I made several invitations in my life to evil spirits looking for them to “help” me with my problems. As a result, the aforementioned voices from evil spirits came. Now, since I have overcome all of that, as a born again person, I am happy to have the freedom that I have. I enjoy the removal of bondage from religious, worldly, and witchcraft evil spirits.
Hope is a foundation that stays in me. Hope is instilled in me of Christ’s love, and Christ’s power. I am more confident not because of me but because of confidence given to me by Christ. As far as those voices, there is even more freedom from them than when I first got born again. The reduction from their presence continues. I have come a long way when it comes to those voices. The burdened bondage that I felt has been removed, by the grace of Christ. The voices continue to reduce, and there continues to be a dramatic change for the better in regards to that. In that aspect, the improvement always gets better week by week.
Was waiting 5 years for me to get born again worth it? It definitely was. Why? Because while waiting, my soul was being healed in much needed ways. Receiving help from Pam Sheppard Ministries gave me a healthy advantage as I was going about my life. I was safely altering and adjusting my life decisions based on what I knew about Satan’s deception tactics. God has blessed me with the truth as I learned of all the enemy’s deception. I am continually grateful for that. In the midst of waiting for my salvation experience, the progress I made was a sweet gift to have. Like the first bite into your favorite fruit you’ve been longing for, that sweetness of truth is refreshing. Throughout my waiting period, I did not waver but remained steadfast. I continued to learn from Pastor Pam as I had weekly deliverance counseling sessions. Learning that salvation is not of my own doing but a gift from God, helped me during my waiting time. I know that God intended to cause me to eventually enter His family.
The new creation that salvation in Jesus Christ has given to me is extremely fulfilling, rewarding, and sustains me. The grace of salvation by Christ is everlasting and irreplaceable of anything the world offers. The peace the Lord has given to me , I am thankful for it and will always be thankful for it. The Lord has taken me out of Satan’s dark world and into his light of truth.
Pam Sheppard Ministries is THE place to be if you are lost and in the dark. The answers you have been looking for are right here. There are people who have been struggling with torment of all sorts whether by demons, fallen angels, or the family members and friends the enemy is using against them. Call 1-888-818-1117 if you would like to know more about Pam Sheppard Ministries and what help you can be offered.
From 90 days to 6 months, perhaps a year, the church addict’s mind must be re-trained. False doctrines and practices that the churchgoer has believed in for decades must be challenged so that the soul can be renewed. As God Himself has compared false worship to prostitution or whoredom , I am not out of line in making a similar comparison. A religious or spiritual addiction can be compared to “good sex” with someone you know does not really love you. Simply put, you get hooked to the thrill and the feeling. Those of us who have never “been there and done that” wonder what the thrill is for a masochist.” a quote from “Come out of Her God’s people)
Masochism from a psychiatric perspective is defined as a condition in which sexual gratification depends on suffering, physical pain and humiliation gained from despair, deprivation, and degradation. The perpetrator can be others or it can be self inflicted. Unfortunately, masochists are known to find pleasure in self denial and emotional pain.
I can relate on a spiritual level because sexual masochism is like self imposed martyrdom… I ignorantly assumed that I was suffering for Christ.” Notwithstanding, like a spiritual masochists, a sensual, carnal thrill was obtainable through believing that I was more righteous than they because I was faithfully doing God’s will. What a shock to find out after more than two decades, that “God never sent me there for ANY reason.” He simply used what the enemy meant for evil for my personal and spiritual good, so that I could be used by Him to help others “help themselves!” Nevertheless, as one who was “addicted,” I never wanted to leave that Whore on my own so God made HER PUT ME OUT!!!!”
The enemy is planning on using your ‘addiction’ to religion and churchianity against you in these endtimes. If you can’t come clean and effectively ‘detox’ , the enemy will keep a foothold in you. If you have ANYTHING in you that wants fame, fortune, popular acceptance, and approval, the enemy has yet another foothold in you. If you love attention, there is another one. If you love suffering, there is another one. if you love drama, there is another one.
Just know that the more you continue in your detox from religion, the more you pursue truth, the more you will realize that your journey will NOT be popular. When you leave your religion behind, you WILL lose friendships…THAT’S A FACT. Some may be more surprising than others. MOST people are not interested in TRUTH. MOST people worship their religion so deeply, that they have no desire or respect for the truth. They wanna hear what makes them feel good. You will find that you cannot share what you are learning with everyone in your life…not your parents, not your siblings, not your friends, and sometimes not even your spouse. Why? Because not everyone is READY for the truth, and quite frankly, not everyone is meant to know the truth. You cannot force it on a person. You cannot MAKE them believe you. You cannot make them see that the religion they are in is not of God, but instead a bunch of religious lies from the enemy. NO. You have got to leave that up to the Holy Ghost to open their eyes and show them. It is NOT your job to convince anyone of the truth.
Yet Pam Sheppard Ministries was enlisted by God to help and guide you on your detox journey with books, videos, articles, correspondence courses, telephone counseling, coaching and deliverance, group fellowship, bible studies, sermons and more!
The Narcissistic Personality and Spiritual Strangeness
When bordering on mental illness, a phrase that I have coined called “spiritual strangeness”can manifest in deep depression, the hearing of voices, visual appearances that are invisible to others and manifestations of narcissistic personality disorders of different varieties. (Where the demon of Jezebel is concerned, at the core of the mental illness is a pride system that reinforces false or counterfeit religious beliefs and practices. Psychic phenomena like telekinesis and astral travel emanate from the witchcraft side of the face of Jezebel.
As such, when supernatural manifestations are present, the spirit of Jezebel is generally the lead demon. The Jezebel demon is also at the root of self absorption, where legalism, perfectionism and self righteousness will progressively debilitate
the soul. I suspected that previously mentioned 92 year old Bertha was also personality disordered, particularly as it relates to her perfectionism and the confusion and despondency she experienced when even mildly challenged or suspected of being in error. Although Bertha manifested symptoms of perfectionism, a more classic influence of the face of Jezebel is more clearly evident in a professing Christian whose name I have changed to Pearl.
Claiming to be a doctor of holistic medicine, Pearl contacted me by email with a rather desperate and impertinent cry for a deliverance from an alleged physical infirmity that she believed to be demonic. She reported that she was without any physical strength, continuing to cough, vomit and remained without appetite. By virtue of her New Age profession alone, I was immediately aware that the spirit of witchcraft was definitely unmistakable. Moreover, the fact that Pearl professed faith in Jesus Christ while simultaneously misquoting the Lord frequently, I suspected that I was dealing with not only Jezebel, but perhaps the spirit of the Anti-Christ as well.
For example, Pearl views herself as “Christ-like”, not at all considering that her 30 year practice of homeopathic healing is an occult practice, nor would she consider
that her own beliefs could in any way be demonic. Working with a captive bound to the Jezebel spirit is no easy task. The complexity of the situation is that when helpless and in the middle of a crisis, the captive is usually cooperative and approachable. Due to the urgency of Pearl’s situation and the importunity of her emails and her phone calls, I overruled the steps and stages of my usual procedure. I confronted the demons by telephone in order to bring Pearl some immediate relief.
By reversing the process, I cast out the demon of torment first so that Pearl would be free to work on her other issues and problems. For example, her adult son had threatened to commit suicide if Pearl did not stop interfering in his life. As is the case with this personality type and the Jezebel spirit, Pearl’s life is one of chaos, instability, confusion and broken relationships. Once I exercised the authority of the Name of Jesus over the demon of torment, the spirit of Jezebel and the spirit of the Anti-Christ were clearly exposed, discernible in Pearl’s transparent self love and obvious sense of superiority. Pearl obtained immediate relief.
Interpreting her well being as a sign of a complete deliverance, Pearl backed off from any further counseling, disregarding and opposing all of my suggestions and comments that she was not at all “delivered.” With much debate and contention, Pearl conceded that “the Lord DID use me to set her free,” but she vehemently refused to address those underlying characteristics that permeate her very proud personality. Considering the length of time that she has been narcissistic, it is only logical that she would tenaciously defend her own self concept. Therefore, in Pearl’s mind, she is “as SHE says she is”—loving, giving, honorable, forthright, righteous, selfless, the perfect mother, superior—to name but a few.
It is apparent to me that Pearl is one of the unsaved professing to be saved. Notwithstanding, in Pearl’s mind, she is “Christ-like” even though she defied several of His words and His ways as evidenced in her emails. Once relieved of torment, the contradictions between Pearl’s actual character and her idealized image of herself became so obvious that it was amazing that she could not perceive it with her own self proclaimed intelligence.
On the contrary, Pearl is consistent in her ability to ignore the unconcealed. In fact, Pearl would only accept the reality of demons in her life as being sent to her through the jealous witchcraft practices of others, never once considering that she could be in any way responsible for her own torment. This inherent blind spot coupled with her adamant resistance to authority is the most serious obstacle to a complete deliverance. Furthermore, within her emails are numerous statements that would cause a knowledgeable Christian to seriously question her salvation.
Unwilling to be broken in spirit, the religious demon’s motive is self evident. Pearl’s solution is to do away with all demonic doorways of a personal nature by declaring herself “above it all.”Pride has hindered Pearl from taking a realistic assessment of those un-submitted areas of her soul. As Paul wrote, “God resists the proud but give grace to the humble.” (James 4:7)
To get a copy of Faces of the Religious Demon for yourself, click on the book cover.
For questions about this topic contact Pam Sheppard Ministry at 1-888-818-1117 or email rescueonfb@icloud.com.
Clearly it happened once in Jewish history as Daniel predicted that it would. In the year 167 BC. A Greek ruler, by the name of Antiochus Epiphanies committed two blasphemous acts in the second Jewish temple: He set up an altar to the Greek god Zeus and also he sacrificed a pig on the altar.
The Lord knew of that particular abomination as it occurred some two hundred years BEFORE His words were recorded in Matthew 24:15. So clearly, the Lord was prophesying about an event that would transpire in the last days, since the end of the gentile age is the subject matter of Matthew 24. It stands to reason that in a similar way that the Lord compared the last days to the days of Noah, in like manner, He also highlighted the prophecy of Daniel with the caviat of “let the reader understand.”
Now the general understanding of those who interpret endtime signs is that before this particular sign can be fulfilled, the Jews will need to build a new temple. So we could further assume that the Antichrist will not be revealed until that non existent temple is built in Jerusalem.
But what if that is not the understanding the Lord wants the endtime age to have?
Whatever the future abomination is, if it is an overt act of the desecration of a Jewish temple, the obvious nature of such an act would not need very much understanding or interpretation.
AT the time that the Lord was questioned about the end of the age and His response recorded by Matthew in the 24th chapter, the church age had not yet begun but would be shortly ushered in by a few of the Lord’s apostles and disciples on the day of Pentecost. So clearly, it made no sense for the Lord not to reveal at that time how the church age would evolve 2000 years into the future to people who were about to bring forth the age of the church. For to know the end before the beginning would definitely have blocked the motivation of the apostles and disciples to begin and continue the work of building the church. Rather, it’s the last generation of the elect who truly need “to understand.”
So my question is this. Suppose the Lord was not referring to the abomination of desolation as a part of Jewish history, but in reality, perhaps He predicted Christian history in its last days? The accepted understanding within a common endtime understanding is that the Antichrist will establish a covenant with Israel for 7 years and then perform some blasphemous, unspeakable abomination, similar to what Antiochus Ephiphanies did in the second Jewish temple, before it was destroyed in 70 AD.
Yet built into the new covenant, the temple of God is clearly the reborn human spirit. There are several scriptures to support the belief that the spirit of man is the temple of The Lord, both in the Old Testament and more so in the new. So what if the abomination of desolation has occurred and is still occurring in the temple or spirit within those who claim to be God’s people?
So consider this. Would it not be an abomination of desolation to go to a church altar, expecting to receive the Holy Ghost into your spirit but instead, you received a religious demon aka the spirit of the antichrist?
Anyone who knows even a little about kundalini yoga and the 7 chakras are aware of the fact that every human being has 7 spiritual gateways or doorways in his body. Through entering a state of passivity, yoga, meditation, hypnosis, chanting, even speaking in tongues will create an altered state of consciousness (ASC) conducive enough to crack open each spiritual doorway, one by one. I would include falling slain in the spirit, holy laughter, speaking in tongues, the holy dance, shouting, running around the church, flopping one’s head back and forth, as additional practices that stir up the kundalini spirit and open the 7 doorways.
Chakras are actually doorways for Hindu gods who themselves are really principalities and powers. Each of these entities stand guard over each of the 7 portals: Over the crown is Shiva; the third eye is Hakini, the throat is Savashiva, the navel is Vahni, the sexual organs are Vishnu and Rakeeni, the anus is Brahma and the heart is Isha.
Since no where in the bible does it even suggest that we should “ask Jesus into our hearts,” the fallen angel Isha responds to the unsuspecting seeker’s “invitation” as a call to the fake Jesus Sananda who Isha serves. So Isha opens the doorway to the heart and spirits of the antichrist enter the heart doorway and take up residence in one’s “temple.”
So could it not be that the abomination of desolation has already occurred and is still occurring? The Lord said that if we ask God for bread, HE would not give us a snake or a stone. Well, I know for a fact that people are asking God to come into their hearts as they surrender their beings to an entity they believe is Christ at the altars of God, when in reality, it’s a fallen angel impersonating the Lord. Could it be that because they are going about it the wrong way, evil spirits have entered their temples?
What could be more abominable or more desolate than THAT?
The Holy Ghost will not enter a temple where a demon dwells. It must be cast out FIRST. Only after the demons have left will He enter your spirit and cause you to be born again, becoming a temple where God Himself dwells.
God could cast it out the spirit of the antichrist Himself. Yet most often He uses one of His followers to do so. AT RESCUE, WE can help with this. Either give us a call at 1-888-818-1117 or email us at getreadyforthelord@gmail.com
As a member of RESCUE who has experienced being set free from demons, one of the things that surprised me as i went through counseling and detoxed from religion was the fact that i had engaged in witchcraft without my knowledge. Looking back I never interacted with people who engaged in witchcraft. In fact, to my knowledge,i never even read occult books or watched any occult shows. I considered such things as the worship of the devil— pure evil which i didn’t want to be associated with.
Consequently, It was shocking and humbling to discover that some of my self- righteous religious acts were no different from those of a new age practitioner . So even though I never engaged in the occult, it was shocking to discover that I learned witchcraft practices in the Institutional Church.
Witchcraft can simply be defined as the practice of magic, the use of spells and invoking spirits.
There are several ways that i was duped into witchcraft while attending an Institutional church.
Witchcraft Prayers
I owned several spiritual warfare books and recited statements that involved commanding “angels”, the stars, planets and even God. I would bind the devil and cast him back to hell. These prayers used scripture out of context. For sure, no human can command God to do anything, so to think otherwise is foolish. We lie to ourselves if we think God is at our beck and call.
To command the sun, moon, planets and stars is delusional, but to command angels has a dangerous spin to it. Gods’ angels do not accept our invitations or instructions but fallen angels do, in order for the devil to have legal right to be in your life, you have to invite him in.
My invitation to these fallen angels had severe consequences. I started suffering from demonic torment – my mind, body and soul was under constant attack. My fear grew greatly as the attacks would happen mainly at night.
During prayer meetings, people used to be manipulated to change their ways by being shamed in public prayers where intercessors would air out people’s issues. When ministers control & manipulate people’s behavior, their actions are a clear sign of witchcraft. There are many examples of how people are controlled in the church and public prayer is one of the them.
Religious Rituals
To counter the demonic torment that I suffered from, i turned to more rituals – applying anointing oil on my bed, door, windows, ceilings and on myself. Inviting the Holy Spirit to come in and fill my apartment, i played worship music and recited bible verses and prayers. None of this helped, In fact, I simply added fuel to the fire. My religious acts were also motivated by fear not faith.
Bibliomancy
I would also, seek out random passages in the Bible and apply them to my life with no regard for the context. I also used it to “decree and declare” my future and pray for certain events to occur. This practice which i was taught in the church actually comes from the Middle ages where people who practiced divination would open the bible and whichever page they landed upon, they would read out the scripture and use it to give spiritual insight into what they are looking for. I was pretty much behaving like my own psychic.
Worshipping in the flesh
The Bridal paradigm in the church has brought about the increase of love songs to Jesus which are disguised as praise and worship songs. Everytime i engaged in a worship session, i would feel warm and tingly in my chest, i assumed that these were “feelings of God’s love” overflowing in me. These experiences were short lived which caused me to depend upon an emotional roller-coaster. The more I felt unloved,the more needed to attend more worship sessions to feel loved. I’ve come to learn that love is not a feeling & more importantly the Holy Spirit does not entertain our flesh. These manifestations of “love” were all sensual and had nothing to do with the Spirit of God. True believers of the Lord Jesus have to worship in Spirit & in Truth.
In the New Idolatry, Pastor Pam Sheppard writes in detail how witchcraft has infiltrated the Institutional Church, One part that stood out to me is how a new age practitioner and a Charismatic Christian could address a similar issue using methods that many would assume are worlds apart, when in reality, they actually are similar and run parallel to each other. Below is an excerpt from the book:-
“For the sake of comparison, consider how both a new age practitioner and a Charismatic Christian would approach a typical problem, namely, a woman seeking to stop the infidelity of a lover or husband. From the occultist, the woman might be required to purchase a defense enchantment like burying her man’s shirt at full moon, while pronouncing a curse or a magic formula seven times. As the shirt wears out and disintegrates in the ground overtime, so also will the man’s love for the other woman fade and dissolve.
Both the occultists and those deceived by charismatic teachings rely on the credulity and readiness of those they counsel and advise. In like manner, charismatic witchcraft might approach this classic problem from a variety of religious perspectives, with the twist that God is made amenable to the woman’s plans. Supernatural dreams and visions labeled the discerning of spirits, a word of wisdom, a word of knowledge and prophecy, intercessory prayers of “binding and loosing” and the taking of scripture out of their natural context and applying them to the woman’s personal agenda are the primary methods of choice. In this instance, the woman might be advised to pray over her man’s side of the bed, anoint it with oil or holy water, name it and claim it by sending forth evil prayers against her man’s lover, in unsavory ways unbefitting to Jesus Christ, and pray controlling, manipulative prayers to change the man’s behavior.Rather than deal openly with the issues of infidelity, sin and spousal abuse, Charismatics are infamous for seeking “the supernatural solution.”
To my dismay, I learned, that many practices both in and out of the church that are widely accepted as normal today actually have their origins in witchcraft. I thank God for my deliverance journey that started when i reached out to Pastor Pam who walked me through the deliverance process, helped me break my false conversion and discard false teachings. I got healed from my torment once I received the truth about the Lord Jesus Christ.
Since we live in such deceptive times, you could be engaging in witchcraft practices, totally unaware. The danger in doing so is you open yourself up to the spiritual world and give demons legal rights to enter your life and run it amok.
If you need to learn more on how witchcraft got widely accepted in the church and how to avoid being deceived get a copy of “The New Idolatry” at
It has been my experience that the doorway UNKNOWINGLY left wide open to demonic torment is a captive’s fear of ever making a mistake. Demons take great pleasure in tormenting people who they can control with criticism, shame and accusation. As a deliverance counselor, I realize that for each captive, there is a different root cause. For the most part, a fear of making a mistake comes from how you were raised. Those who have been under the authority of extremely judgmental, critical parenting are inclined to either become passive or aggressive in their response to this fear.
The passive ones try to “always be correct and proper” because they are afraid of suffering the consequences that judgmental parenting brings. On my web caseload over the last 14 years, those who are constantly hearing critical, accusing voices in their minds have been raised by critical, judgmental parents. Perfectionism in passive people also leads them to be ardent people pleasers–a breeding ground for depression.
The aggressive folks tend to become the rebels of the world who often seem to make mistakes on purpose and by design because they simply enjoy annoying people. In other words, “if you made me the black sheep of the family, I’m going to play that role with style and gusto! If you told me when I was 10 years old that I am going to be no good, just like my father, well, I am going to be “my father” to the 25th power. So watch me, Mom, as I go through the revolving prison door of recidivism. Watch me and suffer Mom, because you have tried to frame me with a fear of being like a Dad that I didn’t even know, because of you and YOUR failures!
Here is another pattern. January 2 of every year could be renamed “Get Rid of the Fat Day. There are unseen reasons why some of us got fat. Here is the scenario for the rebel: ” If you have called me “fat” all of my life when I was not fat but voluptuous and my sensuality disturbed you, Mom—-I am REALLY going to become fat just to show you what FAT REALLY IS AND that I don’t care what you think of my body type!!!!”
Scenarios like these are often played out on a sub-conscious level. Anytime you don’t know who you are and why you are behaving the way that you do, you are a prime target for demonic interference. As a deliverance counselor, this is the reason why I am less concerned about whether or not you ever experimented with the occult or drugs than I am about how you deal with “making mistakes.” It does not take a great deal of education to become a great learner. Learning involves listening and mimicking. Even if we can’t read or write, life itself is going to teach us something!!!” If you have never made a mistake then you have not learned very much.
For the Christian in particular, God designs the lessons of life disguised in the form of obstacles, mistakes and difficulties through a maze of trials, tribulations, troubles and tests. Why? Because the Christian walk in the spirit by faith in God alone is what earns us our eternal crowns. Without any ashes, there is no beauty. Without failure, there is no glory. Without falling, we really don’t know how to stand. We are sinners who must totally rely on the Holy Spirit’s leading in order to please a perfect God. He is pleased when we can resist the pride of our sinful nature and embrace our ashes.
I was born 73 years ago. I was born again 40 years ago. All I have to give to God is a life of mistakes and failures. These are my infirmities, and like Paul, I actually glory in them. I know that I glory in them because when I speak or write about my mistakes, I have no inner pulling of sorrow, shame or regret in my heart. I know that I glory in them because I give practically no thought or expression to the things that man would consider successful accomplishments. I glory in my mistakes because I have come to know that the power of Jesus Christ of Nazareth is all over me when I can acknowledge my own weaknesses.
There is a difference between making a mistake and being a mistake. If I am in Christ, then I am not a mistake. On the contrary, if I rely on “self,” then I am functioning as a mistake. What the bible confirms is that God did not believe that I was a mistake or I would not be here. God does not believe that YOU are a mistake or YOU would not be here either. When we begin to see even an iota of how big and all-consuming God is, then we will stop worrying about our mistakes and the demons that are assigned to us will be bound and gagged.
Twenty eight years ago, I committed a serious sin that brought about its consequences and its ramifications. On last Friday, the religious demon assigned to me sent me a dream that showed me committing the exact same sin and “loving it.” Demons rarely accuse me of sin because they know that I don’t receive or respond to their guilt trips. However, THIS time, they “got me good” because the dream disturbed at least half of my day. The dream was a mockery. What I found offensive is that I was shown that I still have the desire to do the exact same thing, a sin that would be extremely hurtful to God as well as to other people whom I would certainly hurt.
Do I have the desire to commit the sin again? Absolutely not. Would I do so if tempted? Absolutely not. However, here is the truth of it. The flesh DOES NOT CHANGE! In my flesh, I am STILL capable of committing the exact same sin TODAY!!! Yet, though I am capable, I WILL not do it. Why not? Because I don’t walk in the flesh. I walk in the spirit. And because of Jesus Christ, the desires of my heart and my spirit HAVE CHANGED. There is NO CONDEMNATION TO THOSE WHO ARE IN CHRIST JESUS.
You see, Brethren, Christians who are afraid of making mistakes focus on self-righteousness and not on the righteousness of God in Christ. They are not looking to the cross. They are looking to self. They are trying to please God just as they tried to please their earthly parents. Yet our understanding and practice of perfection is totally different from God’s as it pertains to His people. Take Job, as our classic biblical example. He was as perfect as man can get, pleasing to God, yet prior to Calvary.
That was Job’s problem. He was toooo perfect. He had no mistakes to draw from. Without the mistakes, Job really did not know God very well. Once God allowed the devil to attack Job, Job’s hidden mistakes were revealed. He was focused on “self-righteousness. The true nature of God was also revealed. Once confronted by his religious friends, Job became defensive. Defensiveness is an outgrowth of pride. If you are defensive, then even the very thought of making a mistake becomes a bondage to you. On the real, face it. Mistakes are part of our lives and we will keep making mistakes till our last breath. In my book, “Faces of the Religious Demon” are scores of case summaries of professing Christians who religious demons tormented because their captives were afraid of making mistakes. For one reason or another, deliverance counseling uncovered a complicated pride system at the root.
If I am speaking to YOU, then deliverance counseling or mentoring will help you get the victory in 2017. So call and book a telephone session. 1-888-818-1117
Consider Jonah and his disobedience and sudden flight from God to a ship filled with men about to be shipwrecked because of Jonah’s folly. So to find out why they suddenly entered into a severe storm, the men on board cast lots and the lot fell to Jonah. Once Jonah was revealed, he confessed. You would have thought that the men would have immediately picked up Jonah and thrown him off of the ship. Instead, they tried to row faster. Yet when all human effort failed, they reluctantly threw Jonah overboard and peace immediately prevailed for them.
Why didn’t Jonah just jump overboard himself? Perhaps it was not physically possible and he needed someone to lift him up and cast him into the sea. My suspicion is that as it is in most cases, the people who are bringing storms into our lives are “all about self,” especially when their needs are being met by us.
However what I have learned by experience, is that once the cause of an attack has been uncovered or revealed to me, my next step is to refuse. Sometimes you have to refuse a condition or persuasion that is within your personality or in other words, a refusal may have to be made to your flesh.
For example, if you are a person that must be liked or approved of by others, you will have to refuse your flesh in this regard. If you can answer an emphatic “yes,” to the following statements as conditions of your own flesh, refusal will eventually be in order, if you are going to effectively resist the devil:
• I try to avoid being alone
• I let other people decide what to do.
• I get upset when people don’t include me in their activities;
• I am stressed if I don’t include other people in my plans;
• I am easily led;
• I hate any form of confrontation;
• I can’t stand being left out of things;
• I am emotionally dependent upon people.
So one way to crucify your flesh is by refusing to act out its nature.
Besides refusing your former nature without Christ, there are times when you also have to refuse your former perception or understanding as it relates to spiritual and religious matters. In fact, refusal is one of the ways that we cast down our imaginations, and every thought that is contrary to our obedience to the inner leadings of the Holy Ghost.
For example, if you have assumed that God would not allow the enemy to deceive you under any circumstances, to resist the devil that is assigned to you, you will have to refuse every thought connected to this false assumption. I personally know from experience that I can be deceived by the enemy because I have been, several times in fact.
Here is a personal example. It has been revealed to me that in 1996, I founded a church based upon the nature of my flesh and the leading of the religious demon assigned to me. Certainly, I believed that I was led by God at the time. However, with the discernment and the enlightenment that I have received over time, I can look back now with such understanding. What was confusing and complicated in 1996 is obvious and simple today.
Once my eyes were fully opened in 2008, I had to exercise refusal by closing the church doors. Certainly I had to face opposition to closing it. In fact, for a year, services continued in a members home, until her eyes were also opened and the doors of the church were permanently shut, never to open again.
As soon as I took the first step of refusal as I resisted the devil, the next revelation followed. Since the enemy was the secret force that led me to start this church in the first place, it logically and spiritually follows that each and every person who played a significant role in its operations was sent by the enemy also. In 13 years, several people were involved. Out of all of them, I have contact with two persons from the former church.
I published a e-book entitled “Be Delivered From Deliverance Ministry”. If you have been in bondage to people pleasing with deliverance workers who caused your spiritual and physical condition to worsen, you need this book. If you have ever been in a deliverance session that lasted longer than 5 minutes, this book is for you. If you have read a lot of books on deliverance ministry, this book will un-ravel the confusion and de-mystify how to cast out demons.
If you have questions about deliverance call 1-888-818-1117.
For links to get any of Pastor Pam’s other books CLICK HERE.
A personal testimony from a RESCUE member on her journey to deliverance and freedom in Christ.
From birth to the age of 16, i was raised in a catholic home. It wasn’t a strict catholic upbringing but we went to mass every Sunday, participated in Bible Study and confession regularly. My catholic life was dry for the most part, the only time i had a supernatural experience was one time i had to go do my confession to a priest in order for the church to give me the sacrament of confirmation which was to signify that i have been filled with the Holy Spirit and now worthy to receive the body & blood of Jesus which was the wafer and wine offered during mass.
I was dreading my walk to the church due to a number of reasons, first, I was naturally a fearful person, the church was also located in a neighborhood that wasn’t very safe, i remember my heart racing and a strong urge to not go for the confession but i thought that was the devil deterring me from being filled by the Holy Spirit. I went to the church and confessed my sins, even during confession, i lied and made up sins that i didn’t even do. The priest told me to repeat the hail mary & the Lord’s prayer several times and he declared me absolutely clean. I felt this amazing sense of peace and joy. The girl walking back home was confident and happy and sure that she had received the Holy Ghost, the truth is i didn’t by a simple teaching from Jesus, “you shall know them by their fruits.”
My feelings of joy and peace didn’t last long, there was no substantial change in my spiritual life, it was still dry and full of rituals. My fear increased greatly. I resigned myself to thinking this is how spiritual life is, many adults weren’t living holy as they claimed. I was initially exposed to hypocrisy in the church while being catholic, it used to bother me that the “spiritual giants” used to gossip and be mean to fellow church goers. I was a child and raised not to question adults so i kept this question to myself and remained troubled over it.
FALSE CONVERSION
In 2000, I was 16 and in high school where a church group visited and we were shown an “End time” movie. They later explained how many will be be-headed and suffer when they miss the rapture. We were also threatened with the prospect of dying & going to hell, where people burn forever. I panicked and rushed forward to say the sinner’s prayer which was supposed to allow Jesus to enter my heart and seal me with eternal life in heaven. I thought I received Jesus Christ of Nazareth but red flags started popping up immediately.
First red flag was that I started suffering from sexual thoughts about Jesus, the thoughts felt like a blow to my mind, I would fight back to stop the thought from continuing. I suffered in silence, very embarrassed and thought i was a very lustful person. I cried for forgiveness constantly hoping God wont be angry with me.
Second red flag was the constant cuss words in my mind directed towards God the Father and the Holy Spirit. One time during a prayer meeting, i felt a strong force pushing me to open my mouth and hurl obscenities, i held my mouth tight, waiting anxiously for the meeting to end so i can run out.
I got a dream where i was surrounded by strange looking creatures, in the dream i realized they were demons and all of them stared at me intently, they all looked ready to attack especially one that looked like an anaconda. I wondered why they didn’t attack, but as i looked out the corner of my right eye, i saw a man dressed in white. I thought that was Jesus of Nazareth protecting me but during my counselling it became evident to me that dream was showing me the fake Jesus and his demons who have entered my life.
TORMENT
I was always a fearful person and this increased after getting “saved.” Every night i would perform a ritual of anointing myself, the bed, and room before i slept. I was afraid of death, torture, nightmares and demons attacking me while i slept. Listening to worship songs, sermons and anointing the vicinity gave some comfort but the results were short lived. I started taking sleeping pills after a family tragedy to try and get some sleep but my sleep pattern was ruined, i suffered from insomnia and constant fatigue.
Things took a turn for the worse in 2004 when I was asleep alone in my room and a spirit touched my private part. I woke up in complete shock, it felt like a complete invasion of privacy, I wasn’t safe in my own home. All the doors were locked, the windows were shut but yet i was attacked. My fear grew tremendously because the demons taunting me made me know there was more to come. I didn’t share this with anyone because i never heard other people suffering from this. I felt ashamed, embarrassed, and felt sad for myself, wondering who could help me, i prayed, read the bible, went to church but baffled as to why this was happening. I engaged in a lot of prayer meetings where we would recite Cindy Trimm prayers from her book, binding demons and releasing angels. I would feel pumped after a prayer session but as always, the feelings were short lived.
I was filled with anxiety before going to bed, making sure i slept with the lights on, slept in certain positions, played christian music hoping that i wouldst get sexually or physically assaulted. All the while i showed other people that i was as normal as i can be, yet i was falling apart on the inside.
In 2013/2014 the night visits became weekly and the demons were becoming more bold in their attacks, I’ve been slapped and had my private parts fondled. I suffered from sleep paralysis as well. By mid 2014 i finally acknowledged i was in trouble as the years of torment were adding up, also the attacks were getting more frequent and more deadly. I started to feel my mind slip and knew if i don’t get help soon, the situation will turn critical.
HOW I MET PAM SHEPPARD
I was restless, i could feel i was at a turning point in my life, a feeling like i was at the edge and almost about to fall off. I listened to more TD Jakes sermons, then moved to G Craige Lewis. My thinking was to combat demonic attacks with more religious ritual, i was so blind and couldn’t see that the more i engaged in religion, the worse the attacks became. I wrongly thought that the rituals – reading the bible, listening to sermons & christian music helped lessen the intensity of these attacks, if i stopped them, the attacks would become much worse. I was completely blind!
I always searched various christian topics on the web, i literally stumbled on Pam Sheppard’s blog and the topic was on sexual acts that would defile a marriage. I found her take on the topic interesting and it led me to read more topics she had covered on her blog. As i read her blogs about the Institutional Church (I.C.) having been taken over by fallen angels, i was shocked yet intrigued because she was answering all the questions i had while being in the church.
Through reading more posts from Pastor Pam i found a video she did on “Spirit Rape” where she spoke on women experiencing visitation from spirits which would engage in sexual acts with them, she finished the video by saying if this is happening to you, you are not born again. I tried to ignore the last part but the torment caused me to realize something is terribly wrong and its time to get some answers. I knew my time to face the truth had arrived.
EMOTIONS
For the longest time i struggled with low self esteem. I would cry for no reason and always find something to worry about and when the situation was resolved, i would look for the next issue to stress about. My emotions were determined by outside factors and other people, i bought into the labels society, family and church gave me.
Growing up in Africa as a black person, my ethnicity was never an issue. I never felt inferior as a black person. I knew what the world thinks of Africa and Africans in general but it never affected me in my day to day life. When i moved to North America, i felt my blackness and it wasn’t good, i felt inferior and any incident where someone would be rude or dismissive would affect me greatly since i wanted other people to validate me since i had no identity.
i was chained to standards set by other people e.g. Ethnic stereotypes, church views that women can’t be pastors, a woman is not valuable to society if she is not married or have children. My bias against women pastors almost led me not to listen to Pam but i stayed and listened because my torment was greater than my opinions and it humbled me to a point i was ready to listen and i thank God for making it that way otherwise my pride would have made me walk away.
DELIVERANCE PROCESS
Before i started my counselling sessions with Pam, i thought deliverance was a pastor shouting at a demon to come out as the captive manifests and rolls on the ground shouting. My view on deliverance was very different from what it really is. I watched several of Pastor Pam’s videos and read her blogs, after a couple of days i sent her an email stating that I felt i had a false conversion and needed help. I filled out a Deliverance form which helped me go down memory lane in my life and it helped me through the counselling process as Pam could look through the forms and see the doorways I had opened to the demons that were harassing me.
I learnt lot and discovered that i had a false conversion which we broke. My will was weak and passive and needed to be built up. I also learnt of ancestral demons that affect people of African background and how to break any covenants that i would have been a part of. My biggest challenge was to stop religious rituals that i was used to, but my desire to be free was greater and the more i learnt, the more i saw what i was doing was putting me in more danger.
Pam has a huge resource through the blogs, videos, books, phone sessions and the online ministry group which i am a part of. All of these have helped me overcome so many strongholds.
RESCUE
As the Psalmist says Psalm 18:29 With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall. That has been my experience with Pam Sheppard and RESCUE. I learnt how to break my false conversion, build up my free will and not allow my emotions to control my actions. Views that held me in chains for years have been broken, i know my value and i get my identity from me, not what outsiders say. I have learnt my personality and know myself better than i have in years which has led to better decision making. I have learnt how to distinguish a spiritual issue from a non-spiritual issue. The torment i suffered for years has stopped! The shame i felt was removed when i realized i had been tricked into worshiping the fake Jesus and others have suffered the same issues i faced. I’m gaining a respect for God, something i never had while religious, i look back and see he has been guiding and protecting me even when i was an idolater. I have seen God’s mercy and compassion firsthand when he led me to Pam Sheppard, his faithful servant. I have gained so much yet i am thrilled because there is more to come, I am now waiting to be born again which will happen at the Holy Spirit’s timing.
Jesus warns his people in Rev 18:4 Come out of her, my people, lest you share in her sins and lest you receive her plagues.
I have single handedly seen and experienced the plagues in the Institutional Church, my story shows God`s mercy towards to me because even though i was suffering from the plagues, i still couldn’t see that being in the I.C. was the problem. God lifted the veil during my counselling process and i finally understood why i was suffering and why i had to leave. I walk in freedom now and can fully relate to Jesus words that, `you will know the truth and it will make you free.
If you are in torment and need counselling, fill the contact form below.
Spiritual Warfare Library of PSM 