We see how the riches and the world choke the word in the parables mentioned by the Lord. The similar effect is manifest with narcissists trying to bear Christian fruit. Only narcissism works as a crop parasite, that is hard to see at first inside the crop, but overtime the crops are half destroyed by the infection. Narcissism—the fruit parasite.
Jesus Himself gave us attitudes and characteristics of those who belong to Him. And these attitudes and characteristics are traits of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, our Lord.
What you will see is that these godly traits are so contrary to narcissism, it explains why narcissists can’t bear fruit unless they repent.
First of all, to bear spiritual fruit you must be born again. The carnal soul, although having good in it, can’t bear the fruit that remains which Jesus talked about with His disciples, “You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain.”
Having humility as a Christian, should be a lasting consistent characteristic. The example of humility was Jesus Himself:
“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.”
We see humble people with a “low mind.” They aren’t really thinking ABOUT themselves. Whether they think good things or bad things, their mind is not dwelling on themselves but on God and on others. And, they are “esteeming” others more than they esteem themselves.
HUMBLE people do nothing out of conceit. Even good things. They don’t care for attention, and they are NOT seeking validation from anyone. Many times narcissists will DO GOOD THINGS as a show to validate themselves and to others that they are not as evil as they really are.
And let me reconnect the point I made earlier about fruit that remains, if you are born again, and one day you seem humble, then the next day you are offended by criticism, and then humble again, and then you bash other people and bring others down, and then humble, and then you cross so many boundaries…
YES, the flesh and Spirit are contrary and war against one another. YES, we still have our flesh after getting born again. But, if time goes by, and there is no progress, there is not consist fruit, then something is wrong, as Paul said:
“But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His.”
Now, something that narcissists have is called “magical thinking.” Magically thinking is a dramatic, fairy tale, beautiful exaggerated mindset. Narcissists deceive themselves with this mindset because they think they have beautiful godly fruit when they really don’t.
But, life in the Spirit, even as babes, there is still fruit that eventually naturally comes to the light.
We talked about humility, but another fruit of the Spirit is love.
Christian love is not always an emotional experience. It’s not this grand visionary idea, as Paul taught to the Corinthians. It’s a simple living reality.
The center “fruit of fruits” is love for another, because of the love that Christ has for all those who are His. This love is quiet, natural, sometimes it seems hidden and then suddenly you feel it come to the surface.
This love is also intelligent and understanding. It knows the boundaries of other people. And does not offend. This love is not subject to “great works of love” as Paul said: “And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.” But, this love is long suffering, and does not envy.
Really, the character behind love is care and compassion. The Spirit of Christ molds you into a caring and compassionate person. Not for the world, but for GOD’S PEOPLE! The question is not if you can love and care for the lowlifes of the world: it is DO YOU ACTUALLY CARE FOR GOD’S PEOPLE? This is NOT just in promises and words, this is in DEED and TRUTH.
Remember that word envy? Well, the 10th commandment says THOU SHALL NOT COVET ANYTHING OF THY NEIGHBOR!!
Narcissist are deeply envious and covet what other people have, whether materially, or just an aspect of a person. And because of this, they will say and do negative things to bring others down to lift up their ego from its threatened state.
Christians are not envious because we have learned the secret of contentment in which Paul reveals,
“Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
To me, “abase and abound” doesn’t just include material things. To me it can also mean flaws in appearance and character, weaknesses…in other words Christians should be very secure, confident people who embrace all their flaws because God has embraced them with all their flaws, and He is the One who can fix all flaws!
You should now see, in the examples of Christian fruit how the flaws of narcissism will destroy that fruit.
We saw with humility narcissists destroy that with their constant thinking of themselves.
We saw with love narcissists destroy that with their lack of compassion and care, envy, and ambition.
But there are more that need to be addressed:
Narcissists are exploiters. Or “predator like.” When they see someone who will bend to their desires, who can easily be manipulated, who are not so strong willed, they exploit. Exploitation simply means TAKE ADVANTAGE OF!
Whereas Christians NEVER would take advantage of someone’s vulnerability BUT PROTECT IT!!!!
Another thing they do is they have no sense of boundaries. They don’t realize people are independent, and have their own life. They think their life is the only life that exists. Their plans, their agenda, their schedule, their lifestyle is the only one. So, narcissists will cross over lines all the time because of this fact. They just don’t realize you have a life since they are too absorbed in their own. They see people as extensions of themselves and not individuals.
Christians ARE EXTREMELY AWARE that other people HAVE LIVES. We are not clingy and NEEDY people. We don’t cross boundaries because we don’t interrupt and interfere with other people’s affairs and plans. We ALLOW people to be individuals!!
And lastly shame. Narcissists hate the feeling of shame. They hate being put on the spot, being wrong, being seen as wrong. They will protect their shame at all costs, even if it means shaming others.
CHRISTIANS HAVE ZERO SHAME BECAUSE THE BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH HAS WASHED AWAY ALL OUR SHAME!!! BY THE GRACE OF HIS STRIPES WE ARE HEALED!!!!
The narcissist needs to repent if they have any hope of bearing the fruits of the Spirit. If they have any chance of having and receiving a crown.
“Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.”
The narcissist need to get out of the magical thinking and see the evil that they are— and become poor in spirit and MOURN. Mourn not because they feel ashamed, but because they have genuinely hurt people. Mourn because they have caused pain and suffering in the lives of other people.
Jesus Christ of Nazareth is fully able to change a narcissist and the traits of narcissism because of what He did at the cross and His resurrection. Nothing is too difficult for Him.
The amount of truth the narcissist accepts about themselves, is the amount of freedom they will receive. If they continue to have a “magical” view of themself, then repentance will do no justice and they will remain a narcissist…
Spiritual Warfare Library of PSM 